请大家帮我看看这篇雅思作文，谢谢！！能得几分

题目：有些人认为所有的教育（包括小学、中学、大学）都应该对所有人免费，而政府承担所有费用，你多大程度上赞成？

Someassertthatallcategoriesofeducationshouldbefreetoallpeople.Variousdiscordshavearisenoverthatstatement.PersonallyIdisagreewithit

Thefirstpointaboutthisstatementisthatwhetherornotalleducationshouldbefree.Asweknow,manycountriesworldwidehaveaCompulsoryEducationpolicyandthecontentsarevariousindifferentcountries.Somemaybefreeinbothprimaryandsecondaryeducation,likeChinawhilesomeareonlyfreeinprimaryschool.Residentshavearighttoacquireknowledge.However,itisimpossibletobefreeineverystage.Nochargesduringtheperiodofprimaryandsecondaryeducationisagoodwaytoboostthelevelofliteracy,whichpromotesthedevelopmentofsociety.Schoolsandgovernmentshouldensurethatthereareenoughfacilitiesandstaffavailabletofulfillthispolicy.Furthereducation,however,isanotherthing.Firstly,itisunrealistictobefreeinfurthereducationasitallowsagreatdealofexpenditure.Idoubtthatifallthegovernmentshaveenoughrevenuetosupportit.Furthermore,differentcountieshavedifferentsocial,economicalandpoliticalsystems,andwhethereducationisfreeshouldbedeterminedbytheirownsituation.

Thesecondpoint:isitavailabletobefreetoeveryoneandgovernmentspayitall?Governmentshavetheobligationsthatletthecitizensgetrightofeducationanditisreasonableforgovernmentstopayforsomepartsofeducationfees,especiallytothoseneedyones.But,residents,wholiveinthissociety,havedifferentstatuesandtheamountofsalarytheygainisobviouslydistinct.Therefore,beingfreetoeveryoneisunjustandwillruinthebalanceofsociety.Forthosewealthyones,theycansupportthemselveswhileforpoorpeople,gettinghelpfromothers(socialfuns,donation,freeeducation)isrealistic.

Overall,ifwestudythisstatementcarefully,wewillfindthattherearesomeunreasonablepoints.Whethereducationshouldbefreetoeveryoneisbasedonthespecificsituation.

我之前考过，但是写作成绩不是很好。下次准备7月份考，请大家看看我的作文问题在哪？

1、能得几分

2、是语法问题？词汇问题？结构问题导致的我作文分低

3、接下来该怎么复习

谢谢大家了！！