雅思作文求批改

Childrenwhogrowupinneedyfamiliesarebetterpreparedtodealwithproblemsintheiradultlifethanchildrenwhoarebroughtupbywealthyparents.Doyouagreeordisagree?

拙作：Theissueofchildrenfromwhichkindoffamily-needyorwealthy-haveastrongerabilitytodealwithproblemsintheiradultlife,inmyopinion,isnotabouttheirfamilybackgrounds,butthewayhowtheyarecultivated.

Clearly,children'sfamilybackgroundsplayapivotalroleinformingtheabilityofsolvingproblems.Somepeoplesuggestchildrenfromwealthyfamiliestendtoreceivemuchmorecareandassistancewhengettingintotroublewhilechildrenfromneedyfamilieshavenarrowaccessestohelp.Asaresult,childrenfrombetterfamiliesmaydevelopasenseofreliance,andtheirpeersfromneedyfamiliestendtodevelopasenseofindependenceastheycouldturntonooneforhelp.Thus,whenthesechildrengrowup,childrenfrompoorfamilieswoulddealwithproblemsbetterthanthosefromwealthyfamilies.

However,otherpeoplearguethatwealthyfamiliesarealwaysprovidingchildrenwithbettereducationandinstruction.Thus,theregoeswithoutsayingthatchildrenwhoareeducatedbetterarealwaysperformingandsolvingproblemsbetter.Incontrast,childrenfrompoorfamiliesmaynotfulfilltheirpotential.

Despitealltheseconsiderations,Ibelievethatitisthewayhowchildrenareraisedupthatmattersratherthantheirbackgrounds.Theabilityofsolvingproblemsismainlycultivatedbyschoolingandparenting.Inwealthyfamilies,parentscanalsourgetheirchildrentothinkanddealwithproblemsindividually,whichmayhelpbuildchildren'sindependence.Ontheotherhand,theignorationfromparentsinneedyfamiliesbecauseofpovertywouldhaveadetrimentalinfluenceontheirchildrenmentallyandemotionally.Inalllikelihood,thesechildrenmaybeatalossorbehavingbadlyonceproblemsoccur.

AsfarasIamconcerned,properguidanceplaysamuchmoreimportantroleinpromotingchildren'sabilitytodealwithproblemsratherthantheirbackgrounds.