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如果您有时间请帮我看看作文Inrecentyears,manyyoungpeopledecidetofurthertheirstudyabroad.Doyouthinktheadvantagesofstudyabroadoutweighitsdisadvantages?Everymorningweopenoureyes,wefoundthatweborninthisrapidly
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Inrecentyears,manyyoungpeopledecidetofurthertheirstudyabroad.Doyouthinktheadvantagesofstudyabroadoutweighitsdisadvantages?

Everymorningweopenoureyes,wefoundthatweborninthisrapidlychangingsociety,inparticular,intermsofworkingandstudyingetc.ifyouareanaficionadoofthestudyingabroad“debate”,youhaveprobablyreadatonetimeoranotherthatcurrenttrendsinthiscontroversyshowsthatthereistwoopinionsinthisquestion,whichistreathimastheangel,andotherindividualsthinkhimisthedemon.ThewayIseeit,Iamtotallyagreewiththispointwhichisthinkheistheangel.

Studyingabroadmaycreatesubstantialbenefits.Tobeginwith,thispracticecanhelpfosterastrongsenseofachievementinmanystudentswhentheyhadfulfilledtheirschoolwork.Secondly,itisnotunrealisticthatstudyingabroadcouldwidentheirknowledgeandbroadentheiroutlook.Technically,studyingabroadcouldbringfar-reachingeffectsforpeople‘slife.Lastbutnoleast,itisnotuncommonthatstudentsmaygainhighersalarywhentheycamebacktoChina.

Ontheotherhands,Chinaisacountrywhichisdevelopingallthetime.Sothatwhenwegosomedevelopedcountries[e.g,USA,UK,NASA]wemusttopayhigherfees.Forinstance,ifastudentcompletehishigh-educationinchina,hewillpaythefeesbetween$8000-$9000,yetifhefulfillhisuniversitytimeinUSA,thefeeswillbetween$100000-$120000.

Hegelsaid:whatisrationalisreal,andwhatisrealisrational.Thisshowsthatthereisanythinghasitsprofoundsignificance,buteverythinghastwosides,hasitsmerits,musthaveitsshortcomings.Wecomeinthisinformationexplosionofthecommunityneedstheobjectivedialecticalmaterialismweseethings,ifheismoregoodthanharm,topromotehim,andifmoreharmthangood,tolimithis.

Inthefinalanalysis,despiteofthenegativeeffectssuchashigherfees,Iamconvincedthatincitedstudentsstudyingabroadisintheinterestoftheindividualsandthesocietyasawhole,thanksalot.

刘昆朋回答:
  1.furthertheirstudyabroad   =>Inrecentyears,moreandmorepeopleinclinedtomakeuptheirmindstogoandstudyabroad.   2.Everymorningweopenoureyes,wefoundthatweborninthisrapidlychangingsociety,inparticular,intermsofworkingandstudyingetc.(汉语式英语)   =>Wehavewitnessedthatthesocietytakesrapidandsounddevelopmentcurrently,particularlyinscientificresearchandourworkingenvironment.   3.youhaveprobablyreadatonetimeoranotherthatcurrenttrendsinthiscontroversyshowsthatthereistwoopinionsinthisquestion,whichistreathimastheangel,andotherindividualsthinkhimisthedemon.(无法说是好坏,只能是个人观念中的优缺点吧)   =>youprobablyhaveread(感觉是这个语序吧)thecurrentdebatemanytimeswhichgoeslikethisasthecontroversydescribed,thatisagreatnumberofpeoplespeakhighlyofstudyingabroadwhilemanyonesopposedtoitseriously.   4.ThewayIseeit,Iamtotallyagreewiththispointwhichisthinkheistheangel.   =>However,frommypointofview,Iamtotallyagreewiththeformer.   5.Thereareseveralreasonstoaccountforthephenomenonanditwouldbeagreatbenefittous.(过度···)   6.Ontheotherhands,Chinaisacountrywhichisdevelopingallthetime.(没必要用从句吧,累赘,要不改一下··)   =>Ontheotherhands,It'swellknownthatChinahasbeencontinuouslydevelopinginrecentyears,   7.Sothatwhenwegosomedevelopedcountriese.g,USA,UK,NASA]wemusttopayhigherfees.(感觉主从顺序有点不舒服)   =>SothatwemustpayhigherfeeswhenwegosomedevelopedcountriessuchasUSA,UK,andNASA,   8.Thisshowsthatthereisanythinghasitsprofoundsignificance(意译,改进)   =>Itshowsustheconceptthateverythingismatchedwiththerealmeaningofitsexistence.However,Asapopularsayinggoes,everycoinhastwosides,boththeperfectionandtheimperfection.   9.Wecomeinthisinformationexplosionofthecommunityneedstheobjectivedialecticalmaterialismweseethings(汉语式)   =>Iturgentlyrequiretheobjectivedialecticalmaterialisminthiseraofinformationexplosion···   只是个人观点···   总体感觉你汉语化有点严重,我都怀疑你是直接把中文放到网页或是软件上翻译的···这样改,还不如你给我汉语翻译的快呢··   像是:ifheismoregoodthanharm,topromotehim,andifmoreharmthangood,tolimithis.直接~   语序尤其是从句
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