当前位置 :
帮忙看下这篇雅思作文大概得多少分?Universitiesshouldacceptequalnumbersofmaleandfemalestudentsineverysubject.Towhatextentdoyouagreeordisagree?Asacommonargument,ifuniversitiesshouldacceptequalnumbersofmalean
1人问答
问题描述:

帮忙看下这篇雅思作文大概得多少分?

Universitiesshouldacceptequalnumbersofmaleandfemalestudentsineverysubject.Towhatextentdoyouagreeordisagree?

Asacommonargument,ifuniversitiesshouldacceptequalnumbersofmaleandfemalestudentsineverysubjecthasbeendiscussedforalongtime.Somepeopleholdtheviewthatweshouldtreatdifferentsexualpeopleequallybecauseeveryonehasright.Butinmyopinion,universitiesdonotneedtoacceptthesamenumberofboysandgirlsineverysubject.

Physicalfactorisnotonlythefirstbutthemostimportantreason.Asknowntous,thepowerinboy’sbodyishigherthanthatofgirl.Itdeterminesthatboycandomorepower-workthangirl.Forexample,whenenteredaconstructiveplace,didyouhavethechancetoseeawomenwhowastransportthetricksorathingirlwhowasmixingthecementwithwateranddirt?Itmustbeaterriblesituation.

Secondly,theperformancewillaffectmore.Weeitherenjoytheservesfromasweetfemalenurseortheinjectionfromher.Butifthereisamuscle-maninstead,weallwanttorun.

Finally,thesepeoplewhothinkthatuniversitiesshouldacceptequalnumbersofboysandgirlsineverysubjectaretooemphasistherightsofgirls.Consideringaboutgirls’hearts,equalityisnotthebestchoice.Imagingthat,fewgirlswanttostudyandworkinwherearefullwithdustandsmell.Theyalsodonotliketheheavyboxorstrongsolar.

Accordingtothesereasonsbelow,Ithinkuniversitiesshouldacceptdifferentnumbersofmaleandfemaleinsubjects.Becausenomatterfromphysicalaspectandmentalaspect,maleandfemaleartdifferentroles.

给个评分就好~模拟练习时写的应该比较接近真实成绩了.

李兆杰回答:
  有些用法不地道比如thesepeoplewhothinkthatuniversitiesshouldacceptequalnumbersofboysandgirlsineverysubjectaretooemphasistherightsofgirls.-->应该改成thesepeoplewhothinkthatuniversitiesshouldenrollequalnumbersofboysandgirlsineverysubjectover-emphasizetherightsofgirlsemphasis是名词emphasize才是动词   再比如要是我写最后一段就会写成:   Accordingtoreasonsgivenabove,Iholdtheperspectivethatuniversitiesshouldacceptdifferentnumberofmaleandfemaleinvarioussubjects,forthereasonthat(=because,还可以用afterall)frombothphysicalandmentalaspects,maleandfemaleplaydifferentroles.注意体会修改之后的细微差别,就是你应该注意的地方比如because引导的句子一定不能缺少主句,而你的就是缺少主句了...   通篇语法上也还有点问题,多做同义词替换,再努力一下能得六分   雅思作文不考思想深度个人意见仅供参考加油~
最新更新
PC端 | 移动端 | mip端
字典翻译(zidianfy.com)汇总了汉语字典,新华字典,成语字典,组词,词语,在线查字典,中文字典,英汉字典,在线字典,康熙字典等等,是学生查询学习资料的好帮手,是老师教学的好助手。
声明:本网站尊重并保护知识产权,根据《信息网络传播权保护条例》,如果我们转载的作品侵犯了您的权利,请在一个月内通知我们,我们会及时删除。
电话:  邮箱:
Copyright©2009-2021 字典翻译 zidianfy.com 版权所有 闽ICP备2022014709号-7
lyric 頭條新聞