求大神批改雅思作文~能告诉我大概的分数和需要努力的方向吗?
作文题目是:SomepeoplethinkuniversityeducationshouldpreparestudentsforemploymentwhileothersthinkIshouldhelpstudentsacquiretheoreticalknowledge.Discussbothviewsandgiveyourownopinion.
正文:Inthepresentdays,therearemanydebatesonthecharacteristicofuniversityeducation.Somepeopleagreethatguidanceandhelpaboutrecruitmentshouldbegiventostudentsbyuniversities,whileothersbelievethatuniversitiesshouldhelpstudentsgrasptheoreticalknowledge.Frommypersonalview,Ithinkuniversityeducationshouldbeofboththesetwofunctions.
PersonallyIadmittedtheimportanceofuniversitiesinteachingtheoreticalknowledge.Thehighereducation,firstly,isresponsibleforofferingfundamentalknowledgeandskillstostudentswithinacertainfieldofdiscipline.Onlygoodpreparationoftheoreticalknowledgecouldpavethewayforanidealjob,otherwisestudentsmaynothavethebasicstoactualworksandevenchancestoemployment,either.
Butstill,itdoesnotmeanthatuniversitiescouldoverseetheessentialroleofvocationaltraining.Studentsshouldhavetheoreticalknowledgeaswellastheexperienceinpractice.Thusuniversitiesareoftheresponsibilitytotrainstudentsinactualworkstogetherwiththelearnedtheories,andstudentswouldberelativelysmartinhandlingdifficultiesthatappearinreality.Theearlierstudentsfamiliartoactualworks,themorecompetitivetheywouldbeinthefuture.
Overall,myopinionisthatuniversitiesshouldpreparegraduateswhoarequalifiedboththeoreticallyandempirically.Inthisway,universitieswouldcontributealottowardtheindividualandsocialadvancement.