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求大神批改雅思作文~能告诉我大概的分数和需要努力的方向吗?作文题目是:SomepeoplethinkuniversityeducationshouldpreparestudentsforemploymentwhileothersthinkIshouldhelpstudentsacquiretheoreticalknowledge
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求大神批改雅思作文~能告诉我大概的分数和需要努力的方向吗?

作文题目是:SomepeoplethinkuniversityeducationshouldpreparestudentsforemploymentwhileothersthinkIshouldhelpstudentsacquiretheoreticalknowledge.Discussbothviewsandgiveyourownopinion.

正文:Inthepresentdays,therearemanydebatesonthecharacteristicofuniversityeducation.Somepeopleagreethatguidanceandhelpaboutrecruitmentshouldbegiventostudentsbyuniversities,whileothersbelievethatuniversitiesshouldhelpstudentsgrasptheoreticalknowledge.Frommypersonalview,Ithinkuniversityeducationshouldbeofboththesetwofunctions.

PersonallyIadmittedtheimportanceofuniversitiesinteachingtheoreticalknowledge.Thehighereducation,firstly,isresponsibleforofferingfundamentalknowledgeandskillstostudentswithinacertainfieldofdiscipline.Onlygoodpreparationoftheoreticalknowledgecouldpavethewayforanidealjob,otherwisestudentsmaynothavethebasicstoactualworksandevenchancestoemployment,either.

Butstill,itdoesnotmeanthatuniversitiescouldoverseetheessentialroleofvocationaltraining.Studentsshouldhavetheoreticalknowledgeaswellastheexperienceinpractice.Thusuniversitiesareoftheresponsibilitytotrainstudentsinactualworkstogetherwiththelearnedtheories,andstudentswouldberelativelysmartinhandlingdifficultiesthatappearinreality.Theearlierstudentsfamiliartoactualworks,themorecompetitivetheywouldbeinthefuture.

Overall,myopinionisthatuniversitiesshouldpreparegraduateswhoarequalifiedboththeoreticallyandempirically.Inthisway,universitieswouldcontributealottowardtheindividualandsocialadvancement.

刘伟群回答:
  第一感觉,模板套的太过生硬,印象就不好.其它方面.建议你当面找老师或者比你厉害的朋友改.网上给了你建议你自己吸收不了的.
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