请帮我看一下我的雅思作文,并按照经验来大致打个分
题目:
Beingacelebrity-suchasafamousfilmstarorsportspersonality-bringsproblemsaswellasbenefits.
doyouthinkthatbeingacelebritybringsmorebenefitsormoreproblems?
作文:
Itisanargumentthattobeacelebrity,whatcanbringtotheperson.Somebodysaysthatbenefitsmorethanproblems,butsomeoneelsethinksnegativethingsmorethanpositivethings.Ithink,however,tobeacelebrity,itgetsbenefitsmorethanproblems.Inthisessay,Iwouldliketoprovidemypointsofviewasbelow.
Initially,tobeacelebrityisnoteasyforeveryone.Youmayhavetoworkhardandputmoreeffortintothethingyouwanttomakeitsuccessful.It’sahardtimeduringthewaytogetyourpropose,soitcanchangeamanwhateverhewastobeagreatman.Popstarsorsportspersonalities,youcanseetheirperformanceinTV,butyoucouldnotseetheywereworkinghardbehindpeople.
Besides,celebrityisalwayswatchedinpublic,whichmakesyouhavemoreattentionfrompeople.Youcanmakeinfluencetothesocietytochangeunfairthingsbyyourself.It’seffectiveanddirectwaytomakepeoplelivingbetter.Peopleobservedcelebritiesandlearnthingsfromthem,socelebritiescanintroducepositivethingstopeople.
However,tobeobservedbypublicisnotalwaysmakeyoucomfortable.Yourprivatestuffwillbejudgedbyothersandcannotbehiddenfrompeople.Socelebritiesneedtobemorecarefulintheirownlifeandpublicwithpresses.
Inconclusion,tobecelebritytherewillbemorebenefitsthanproblems.Ihopeeveryonewantstobecelebritywillmakehisdreamcometrueandmakesocietymorepositive.