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马上要考试了帮忙改托福作文Withpeople'schangingtheiropiniononwhatatalentedpersonis,studentsarerequiredbyschoolstohavetheabilityonorganizinganactivityandplayingaproperroleinteamwork.Asaresulttheideathats
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问题描述:

马上要考试了帮忙改托福作文

Withpeople'schangingtheiropiniononwhatatalentedpersonis,studentsarerequiredbyschoolstohavetheabilityonorganizinganactivityandplayingaproperroleinteamwork.Asaresulttheideathatsportsandsocialactivitiesarejustasimportantasclassesandlibrariesandshouldreceiveequalfinancialsupportcameuptous.FromwhereIstandIsupportit.

Asfarasweallknow,anerdorabookwormcannotliveacolorfullifeasamanwithvariouscapabilitiesdo,andtakingpartinsportsandsocialactivitiescanbetherightchoiceforthemtogaintheabilities.Takemyoldersisterasanexample.Sheisagirlwhoalwaysdoesagoodjobingrades,lackingofsocialactivites'experience.LastyearshegottheadmissiontooneofthetopuniversitiesinMainlandChina.Nowonderingthatstudentsaroundherarealltalentsinstudying.Basedonthefactthatuniversityisaplaceforstudenttogainknowledgeaswellasshowthemselves,myeldersistercan'tadjustherselfintothecolorfullifewhenshewasafreshman.Experiencingthefirstyear'slonelyandfrustration,shestarteddevotingherselfintosportsandsocialactivities.Itisnodoubtsthatshenowlivesawonderfullifeandbecameversatile.

Plus,ifuniversitiesprovidetheequalfinancialsupporttotheafterschoolactivitiesasclassesandlibraries,theactivitieswillachieveahigherlatitude.Andtheboardofuniversitywillgladtoseethatstudentswhograduatedfromtheirschoolaremorecompetitivethanothers.Atthesametimetheschoolcangetagoodreputationwhichattractstherichtodonatemoretotheschool.Asaresult,thedonationwillstimulatethesportsandsocialactivities'developmentviafinancialsupport.Itbecameavirtuouscircle.

Inconclusion,attendingmoreactivitieswhichisfromtheperspectiveofstudentsandgivingfinancialsupporttothemwhichisfromtheperspectiveofschoolisapriorwaytochooseforboththestudent,universityandthesociety.

题目是TPO1的独立写作Doyouagreeordisagreewiththefollowingstatement?

Atuniversitiesandcolleges,sportsandsocialactivitiesarejustasimportantasclassesandlibrariesandshouldreceiveequalfinancialsupport.

刘立钧回答:
  Withpeople'schangingtheiropiniononwhatatalentedpersonis,(deleteit,it’sirrelevantandunnatural)studentsarerequiredbyschoolstohavetheabilityonorganizinganactivityandplayingaproperroleinteamwork.(Talentedstudentsarerequiredtoacquireorganizingabilityandteamwork.)Asaresulttheideathat(of)sportsandsocialactivitiesarejustasimportantasclassesandlibrariesandshouldreceiveequalfinancialsupport(delete)came(comes)uptous(delete).FromwhereIstandIsupportit.(Sportsandsocialactivitiesareclaimedtoreceiveequalfinancialsupportasclassesandlibrariesdo,andIsupportthisclaim.)   Asfarasweallknow,anerdorabookwormcannotliveacolorfullifeasamanwithvariouscapabilitiesdo(abilitiesdoes),andtakingpartinsportsandsocialactivitiescanbetherightchoiceforthemtogaintheabilities(otherthanstudies).Takemyoldersisterasanexample.She(Forinstance,myeldersister)isagirlwhoalwaysdoesagoodjobin(obtaingood)grades,(but)lackingof(lacks)socialactivities'experience.Lastyearshegottheadmissiontooneofthetopuniversitiesin(the)MainlandChina.Nowondering(wonder)thatstudentsaroundherarealltalentsinstudying.(thissentencecontradictsyourpreviousmeaning)Basedonthefactthatuniversityisaplaceforstudenttogainknowledgeaswellasshowthemselves(showoff?),myeldersistercan't(noshortform,cannot)adjustherselfintothecolorfullifewhenshewasafreshman.Experiencingthefirstyear'slonely(loneliness)andfrustration,shestarteddevotingherselfintosportsandsocialactivities.Itisnodoubtsthatshenowlivesawonderfullifeandbecame(becomes)versatile.   Plus(Inaddition),ifuniversitiesprovidetheequalfinancialsupporttotheafterschoolactivities(extra-curricularactivities)asclassesandlibraries,theactivitieswillachieveahigherlatitude(activitiescangainhigheroutcome).Andtheboardofuniversitywill(be)gladtoseethatstudentswhograduatedfromtheirschoolaremorecompetitivethanothers.Atthesametimetheschoolcangetagoodreputationwhichattractstherichtodonatemoretotheschool.Asaresult,thedonationwillstimulatethesportsandsocialactivities'developmentviafinancialsupport.Itbecame(becomes)avirtuouscircle.   Inconclusion,attendingmoreactivitieswhichisfromtheperspectiveofstudents(students’perspective)andgivingfinancialsupporttothemwhichisfromtheperspectiveofschool(universities’perspective,it)isapriorwaytochooseforboththestudent,universityandthesociety.
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