托福独立写作批改麻烦大家给个建议了~急

governmentshouldspendmoremoneysupportingtheartsthansupportingathleticssuchasanOlympicteam?

ItisgenerallyarguablethatgovernmentshouldspendmoremoneysupportingtheartsthansupportingathleticssuchasanOlympicteam.However,IdonotagreewiththisviewandIwouldgofurtherandsayitismoreimportanttosupportingathleticsthansupportingthearts.

Theprinciplereasonforsupportingathleticsissupportscangiveourcitizenmoreentertainmentthanarts.Inthisdayandage,moreandmorepeoplespendtimeonwatchingsportgames.Foreveryonecaneasilyunderstandasupportgame,buthavedifficultiesinunderstandart.Governmentmightspendmoneysupportingtheartswithoutobviouseffects.However,sportshavemuchdifferencesfromartsthatgovernment'sspendwouldnotwaste.Forinstance,mygrandfatheriseighty-yearsold.Hehadneverplayedasupportwhenhewasyoung.ButafterwatchingNationalfootballgames,hewassointerestedinfootballandcouldunderstandeasily.

AnotherfactorthatshouldbetakenintoaccountissupportingathleticssuchasanOlympicteamcanstimulatepeopleexerciseandkeephealth.Bywatchingasportgame,peoplewillbemoreinterestedindoingexercisejustlikethoseathleticswhotheylike.Exercisecanhelppeoplehaveahealthbody.Mygrandfatherisacaseinpoint.Yearsbefore,hehadabadphysicalconditionthathejustcanmoveveryslowlynotsayingaboutrun.Butafterinterestedinfootball,hewasalwaystryingtoplayit.Byplayingstepbystep,hegraduallycanmovefasterthanbeforeandfinally,hecouldamazinglyrunforawhile.Itisthesportsgivehimtheopportunitytoattendthislevel.

AthirdargumentthatweshouldnotneglectissupportingathleticssuchasanOlympicteamcanpushsport'sdevelopmentwhichcanalsoimproveeconomic.SuchasOlympicGames,theimpactofitonsocietyhasbeenmassiveindeed.Beijing'sdevelopmentcanprovethisview.DuringtheOlympicGames,Beijinghasdevelopednotonlyintransportationbutalsoinenvironmentprotection.Agamecanchangeacityinsuchashorttimewhichimpressedusalot.Inthecontrast,supportingtheartscertainlycannotachieve.

Basedonallthesearguments,governmentshouldspendmorem