请高手修改并评价这篇4级作文,
Forthispart,youareallowed30minutestowriteashortessayentitledRecreationalActivities.Youshoulwriteatleast120wordsfollowingtheoutlinegivenbelow.
1娱乐活动多种多样
2娱乐活动可以使人们受益,也可能带来危害
3作为大学生,我认为.
RecreationalActivities
Incolleges,especiallyinChinesecolleges,studentsgetfreedomfromthemorefraternal,morerelaxing,andmoreharmoniousatmosphere.Intheirsparetime,lotsofrecreationalactivitiesareavailable.Forinstance,sports,clubactivities,computergames,tripsareallstudents'favoriteactivities.
However,whenwefindoutsomeadvantagesaboutrecreationalactivities,Ireckonthattherearesomedisadvantagesaboutrecreationalactivitiesaswell.Tobeginwith,playingcomputergamesdoalotofharmtostudents.Independentastheyare,teachersandparentscannotinterveneprofoundlyintheirdailylife,whichwillresultinstudents'lackofconcentrationontheirstudy.Subsequently,manyclubactivitiesseemtobeawasteoftime.Manyactivitiesjustfocusongettingtogetherandgoingousidethecampustohaveameal.Scarcelycantheymakeprogressfromthiskindofactivities.Moreover,goingonatriptosomewhereelseisagoodidea,butwhoguaranteesthesafetyofthestudentsasquiteafewcasesshowthatstudentsincampusaremoreliabletohaveanaccidentwhilegoingonatrip.
Asacollegestudent,Ithinkthatweshouldconsidertheprobleminaprovidentway.Recreationalactivitiescanjustbeusedforrelaxationoutofstudytime,butnottobeaddictedtothemandnottoabusethem.