写了一篇托福作文,希望能得到一些意见和建议,

文章主要都是自己发挥,不太想用模板,觉得这样会有些枯燥,而且对长期的写作帮助不大.所以写得比较随意,可能问题会比较多,虚心赐教,

Peopletodayspendtoomuchtimeonpersonalenjoyment-doingthingstheyliketodo-ratherthandoingthingstheyshoulddo.

Idonotagreewiththestatement.

Inthisdaysandages,thesocietyhasthrownbeforeusanumberofoptionsforenjoymentandactivities.YoucangotocinemaforawonderfulStarWarsnight,hangoutwithgirlfriendinabeautifulbeach,orjustsleepuntilnoon.Inaword,peopleseemtohavethefreedomtospeedtheirtimeonpersonalenjoymentanddoingthingstheylike,however,isthethingreallyfabulousasitseemstobe?

Unfortunately,wearerarelyseeingpeopletothroweverythingtheyneedtodobehind,andspendplentytimeonenjoyment.Instead,individualsarealwaysbusyonwhattheyshouldtodoratherthanwhattheyliketodo.Askedwhypeoplebehavethisway,theresponseinsocietyhasaboilerplateanswer:thegreatestfactorcomesfromanoceanofresponsibilitiesofthehighlycompetitivesociety.Literallyspeaking,individualsactvariousrolesintheirlife,rangingfromparentsofafamilytoamanagerofacompany.Thereareendlessaffairswaitingthemtohandle,manifestly,theworkandfamilyleaveverylimitedtimeforthemtoenjoytheirlife.Theymayprefertoenjoytheirlife,yet,thediverseresponsibilitieswouldnotallowthemtospendplentyoftimeonit,instead,impellingthemallocatemuchmoretimeonwhattheyshouldtodo.

Furthermore,notonlydoesadultswaspushedtospendprimaryconcentrationontheirobligations,butalsochildrencannotbetheexception.Forexample,nowadays,alargeportionofprimarystudentshasattendedvariousclasses,suchaspiano,foreignerlanguageandsoonandsoforth.Theyhardlyhavetimetospendwiththeirfriendsbecausetheirparents’restrictions.Whentheygrowup,itisreasonabletoimaginethattheywillbecostumedtocontroltheirdesires,actingastheirparents.

Inconclusion,itisreallydifficulttojudgewhetherpeopleshouldpaytheirmainlyattentiontotheirjobandfamilies,whichgenerallyisconsideredasthethingsshoulddo.Giventhedilemmatopeople,whynotwejusttrytotransform“should”to“like”.Itwilldefinitelybetheoptimumc