LearningtosayNO
SayingNOcanbeverydifficult.Peoplewithlowself-esteemveryoftenhavealackofassertivenessandthinktheyhavetomeettheexpectationsofeveryone.Itisveryhardforthemtosetlimitswithothers.TheysometimesfeelashamedorguiltyiftheywouldsayNO.Buttodothingsagainstyourwillandpossibilitieswillendupinfeelingusedandresentful.
Asimpleanddirect"NO,Iamnotabletohelpyouwiththat"isthebestsolution.Ifyouwantto(haveto)giveanexplanationyoushouldkeepitsimple:"NO,Ihavealreadymadeananotherappointmentforthistime"or"NO,sorry.IamafraidIhavetodeclinebecauseIhavenosparetime."
Ifsomeonemakesarequestitisfairtoaskfortimetothinkitover.Thedecisionshouldbeuptoyou,butsometimesitisdifficulttosayNOrightnow.YoucantrytouseanempathicNO,ifyouwouldhavehelpedunderdifferentcircumstances:
"Sorry,no.Iwouldhavekeptyourcatnextweekend.ButmyhusbandandIwillbeoffforvisit.Iknowitwillbehardtofindsomeonetotakecareoffthecat.Iwilltrytohelpyounexttime."
Remember:SayingNOisaveryhonourableresponse.Youhavetherighttosay"No