一篇新托福IBT作文求改

刚开始准备toefl,大致看了一下作文的要求,写了一篇文章,大概还有40天的样子,提一点意见关于如何提高,

Liveinasmalltownorliveinabigcity

Nowadaysthereismuchdisagreementoverthatlivinginasmalltownorlivinginabigcity.Somepeoplemaintainthatlivinginasmalltownisabetterchoiceasitsrelaxedatmosphereandfreshair.Otherpeople,however,arguethatlivinginabigcityissecondtonone,forthereismoreconvenienttransportationandrelativelycompleteinfrastructure.IfIhavetobeforcedomakeachoice,Iwillchoicethelatterone.

Inthefirstplace,asImentionedabove,itisthebigcity’srelativelycompleteinfrastructurethatmakesmechoicetoliveinabigcity.Forinstance,peopleinanoldageareinclinedtobeillandneedmoremedicalcare.Inabigcity,therearemuchmorehospitalsequippedwithhighadvancedmedicaldevicesandexperienceddoctorsthanthoseinthetown.Therefore,itcanguaranteepeopleespeciallyoldpeoplebeabletoreceiveproperlycomprehensivemedicalaidsintimeincaseofbeingsickoremergency.Inaddition,forthestudents,livinginabigcitymeansmoreresourcesandmorepotentialopportunitytoobtaininternshipsastherearemoreschools,librariesandcorporations.

Inthesecondplace,withahighconcentrationoffactoriesandcompanies,bigcitycan’tbeabetterplacetomakeafortuneforthebusinessmanandpeoplewithdreams.Onehand,theycantakeadvantageoftheconvenienttransportationandmoreavailableInternettofindmoreopportunitiesandworkmoreefficiently.Ontheotherhand,therapid-pacelifestylekeepsthembeinginformedofthelatestmarketinformationandcutting-edgetechnology,whichisofthegreatimportanceforthemtosucceedespeciallyinaworldwhereknowledgeisaccumulatedbymultiplyingandatthesametimebecomesmoreandmorespecialized.

Inconclusion,livinginabigcitynotonlyprovideusabetterlivingconditionwithrelativelycompleteinfrastructure,butalsogivepeoplewithambitionsabigstagetopursuetheirdream.Hence,mychoiceistolivinginabigcity.