哎,我的英语水平至今处于初中水平,就麻烦大家给看看了~主要看语法,错词,如果那里衔接不顺,也麻烦给修改一下,Goodafternoon,mydearteachers.thankyouverymachforgivingmethechance.Firstletmeintroduce|小学英语问答-字典翻译问答网

哎,我的英语水平至今处于初中水平,就麻烦大家给看看了~主要看语法,错词,如果那里衔接不顺,也麻烦给修改一下,Goodafternoon,mydearteachers.thankyouverymachforgivingmethechance.Firstletmeintroduce

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哎,我的英语水平至今处于初中水平,就麻烦大家给看看了~

主要看语法,错词,如果那里衔接不顺,也麻烦给修改一下,

Goodafternoon,mydearteachers.thankyouverymachforgivingmethechance.Firstletmeintroducemyselftoyou.Mynameis----,iam--yearsold,graduatedfrom------University,themajorinmyundergraduateisBusinessAdministration.

Generallyspeaking,Iamagirlfullofpassion,Ithink,andIdon’tleavethingshalf-done,I’mveryorganizedandextremelycapable.

Andthen,I’mveryco-operative,andhavegoodteamworkspirit.Iamopen-minded,easytoadapt,compatiblewithmyfriends,andwillingtohelpothers.

Besideswhatihaveintroducedmyselfabove,ialsohavemanyinterestsinmysparetime.Ilikereadingbooksandlisteningmusicsameassomebodyelse,thetv-starwhomIlikeisANDYLAU,becauseheiaaverydiligenceand多才多艺.Recently,Ilovetocooksomething,Ifindcookcanexercisepeopledoajobwithpatientandsystematic.

Aboveall,Iamlookingforwardtomy----studiesandlife.Iwillsoonprovethatyourdecisionofchoosingmeisthewisest.Thankyouforgivingmesuchavaluableopportunity!

刘泽响回答：

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　　goodafternoon,dearteachers(加了my之后很中式）,thankyouindeedforgivingmethechance(verymuch写在你那里是语法错误,而且土）.firstletmeintroducemyself(toyou也是中式英语）.Mynameis---,i'm--yearsold,graduatedfrom---university,withadegreeofBusinessManagement(首先你写的太中式了,还有你说的应该是商学管理之类的吧.是management,不是administration.）　　generallyspeaking,i'magirlfullofpassion,(ithink有点多此一举）,andineverleavethingshalf-done.(don'tleave那个不顺）i'mveryorganizedand(extremely这个太过了）capable.Also,ihaveagoodsenseofteamwork.(没有i'mco-operative的说法,而且和teamwork是一个意思）iamopen（不是open-minded),easy-going(这个词组比你那个地道的多,而且还带有你那个compatible的意思）withmyfriends,andgenerous(这个词不错的）. 　　Besides(下面那个太罗嗦了）,ihaveplentyhobbies.(你那句语法错误）,ilikereadingbooksandlisteningmusicasmostpeopledo.ThestarilikemostisANDYLAU,becauseheisverydiligenceandtanlented.(语法错误,还有,很少有人说tv-star)Rencently,ifindmyselfinterestedincookingsinceit'sajobthatneedpatienceandenthusiasm.（句式有点问题,还有那个systematic我实在不知道你是想表达什么）　　furthermore,i'mlookingforwardtomyfuturelifeinXXX(就是你想去的地方）,最后你不应该说那些话.显得太嚣张了.应该多写写对以后去那个地方的向往,最后在加一句,thankyouforyourtime. 　　改完之后觉得你总体思路上还行,但是语言上欠佳,很多语法错误,还有个别用词不当,句式有很重的中国化,不懂的可以HI我,