求高手帮忙修改托福作文
Youngerschoolchildren(agesfivetoten)shouldberequiredtostudyartandmusicinadditiontomathlanguage,scienceandhistory.
Dependingonpersonalexpeience,personalitytypeandemotionalconcern,wefindthatsomepeopleholdtheideathatartandmusicarealsoneedtobestudiedbyyoungerschoolchildrenbesidesmathlanguge,scienceaswellashistory,whereasothershaveanegativeattitude.AsfarasIamconcerned,Idisagreewiththeformerstatement.
Firstofall,itisalwaystopofthelistofmyviewpointsthatyoungerschoolchildrenshouldlearnmoreabouthowtohavefunratherthanburythemselvesintheheavyloadofstudy.Inotherword,duryingtheirearlystagesoflife,theyneedtohavemorefunbythemselvesandlearnalotfromit.Tomakemydemonstrationmoreprofoudlyandcomprehensively,Iwouldliketocitewhatoneofmyfavoratecelebriteshasmentioned,”AllworkandnoplaymakesJackadullboy.”AgoodcaseinpointisJenney,afriendofmine,whoknoweverythingabouttheclassbutnothingabouthowtohavefun.
Moreover,artandmusiccontributelittletohuman’ssuccessfromtheperspectiveofthelonghistoryofourhumanity’slife.Consequently,allocatethetimeonartandmusicdoesnotmakesenseforyoungerschoolchildren.Let’stakeanextremecaseforexample,theemergenceofinternettakeseveryoneofustotheinformationera,buthowaboutromanticartandjazz?Itseemsnothingtheyhavebringtomebutfun.
Admittedly,itmaybetruethatstudyofartandmusicdoeshelpyoungerschoolchildrentoestablishaphilosophythatcentersoncreatingasensewhichworksinalliancewithbeautyratherthanonlysubdueittohumanity’swill.Butifthisfactoriscontemplated,theadvantagesoflearningartandmusiccouldbeoverlooked.
ALLinall,althoughsomepeoplemaystillremainunconvinced,thefactorsIhaveanalyzedcouldatleastmakethemmoreawareofthevariousdimensionsofissueunderdiscussion.Thereislittledoubtthatmoreandmorepeoplewillcometorealizethatitdoesnotnecessaryforyoungerschoolchildrenaddtimeforlearningmusicandarttothetimespendonmathlanguage,scienceandhistory.
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