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帮我改英文作文,语法错误请说出为什么谢谢.Inrecentyears,moreandmorepeopletrytheirbesttotakecareoftheirfamilies.Manypeoplethinkiftheyliveinthecountryside,theywilltakecareoftheirfamiliesbetter.Butinmy
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帮我改英文作文,语法错误请说出为什么谢谢.

Inrecentyears,moreandmorepeopletrytheirbesttotakecareoftheirfamilies.Manypeoplethinkiftheyliveinthecountryside,theywilltakecareoftheirfamiliesbetter.Butinmyopinion,Peopleliveinurbanareascantakebettercareoftheirfamiliesthanpeopleliveinruralareas.

Firstofall,peoplewholiveincityhaveconvenientlivingenvironment.

Asyouknow,weallneedheath.Alotofpeoplediedfrombadtraffic.Becausetheylivedincountrysidetheydidn'thaveenoughtimetosavedthemselves.Asyouknowtimepayavitalroleinourlife.Intheurbanareaswehavesoconvenienttrafficthatwecansavemoretimetosavemanypeople.Bytheway,incityswehaveadvancingmedicineinstrumentsandlotsofamusementparks.Itmakesourlifeheathandcolorful.

Forinstance,MyfriendnamedAnnwholiveincity.threemothsagoherfatherheartattack,shecalledhospitalandtwominuteslatertheambulancewenttotheirhomeandherfatherbesaved.Thedoctorsaidifherfatherhaveseveralminuteslater,hewoulddie.Sopeopleliveinurbanareascanbettertakecareoftheirfamiliesthanpeoplewholiveincountryside.

FinallyIthinkthebetterchoiceofwhichareastoliveinurbanregions,whichisbeneficaltoallourfamilymembers.

帮我看下有多少单词.谢谢

龚正虎回答:
  Inrecentyears,moreandmorepeopletrytheirbesttotakecareoftheirfamilies.Manypeoplethinkiftheyliveinthecountryside,theywilltakecareoftheirfamiliesbetter.Butinmyopinion,Peopleliveinurbanareascantakebettercareoftheirfamiliesthanpeopleliveinruralareascan(1).   Firstofall,peoplewholiveincities(2)haveconvenientlivingenvironment.   Asyouknow,weallneedhealth(3).Alotofpeoplediedfrombadtraffic.Becausetheylivedincountrysideand(4)theydidn'thaveenoughtimetosave(5)themselves.Asyouknow,(6)timeplay(7)avitalroleinourlife.Intheurbanareaswehavesoconvenienttrafficthatwecansavemoretimetosavemanypeople.Bytheway,incityswehaveadvancingmedicineinstrumentsandlotsofamusementparks.Itmakesourlifehealthy(7)andcolorful.   Forinstance,MyfriendnamedAnnlivedincity.Threemothsagoherfatherheartattacked(8),shecalledfirst-aid(9)andtwominuteslater,theambulancewenttotheirhomeandherfatherwas(10)saved.Thedoctorsaidifherfatherhadhad(12)severalminuteslater,hewouldhavedied(11).Sopeopleliveinurbanareascanbettertakecareoftheirfamiliesthanpeoplewholiveincountryside.   FinallyIthinkthebetterchoiceofwhichareastoliveis(17)urbanregions,whichisbeneficaltoallourfamilymembers.
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