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求大神改一改我的雅思作文,剑桥7t1的小作文Thistableillustratesthedataofconsumersspendingonvariousitemsinthefollowingfivecountries,Ireland,Italy,Spain,SwedenandTurkeyin2002.Accordingtothetable,it’sobviousthatI
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问题描述:

求大神改一改我的雅思作文,剑桥7t1的小作文

Thistableillustratesthedataofconsumersspendingonvariousitemsinthefollowingfivecountries,Ireland,Italy,Spain,SwedenandTurkeyin2002.

Accordingtothetable,it’sobviousthatIrelandandTurkeyspentthemostpercentageofmoney,while28.91%forIrelandand32.14%forTurkey,onfood,drinksandtobacco.Theother3countrieshadsimilarpercentageatanaverageofnearly17%,whichisfarlowerthanthepreviouscountries.ThenintheitemofclothingandfootwearItalystoodoutwitha9%andtherestofthecountriesrangefrom5%to7%.Differentfromtheformer2items,countriesspendingdidn’tvarytoomuchfromeachotherintheitemofleisureandeducation.Italywentto4.35%andSpainsitat1.98%.

Everycountryhasitsuniquewayoflife.Wecanjudgethemonlythroughconsumersspending,butitmaybebetterifwespendmoremoneyoneducationandleisure.

彭光俊回答:
  Thistableillustratesthe[data](normallywesayillustratethechangesorthesituation,orshowyouthedata)ofconsumersspendingonvariousitemsin[thefollowingfivecountries,](omitthem!)Ireland,Italy,Spain,SwedenandTurkeyin2002.Accordingtothetable,it’sobviousthatIrelandandand(!)Turkeyspent(I'dratheruseaccountfor)the[most](highest)percentageofmoney,[while](with)28.91%forIrelandand32.14%forTurkey,onfood,drinksandtobacco.Theother3countrieshad[similar](nearlyeven.Heresimilarwillraiseconfusion.)percentageatanaverageofnearly17%,whichisfarlowerthan(thatof)thepreviouscountries.ThenintheitemofclothingandfootwearItalystoodoutwitha9%andtherestofthecountriesrangefrom5%to7%.[Differentfrom](incontrastwith)theformer2items,[countries](thecountries')spendingdidn’tvarytoomuchfromeachotherintheitemofleisureandeducation.Italywentto4.35%andSpainsitat1.98%.[Everycountryhasitsuniquewayoflife](It'sthepeoplenotthecountrythathavetheirwayoflife.I'drathersayPeopleindifferentcountrieshavedifferentlifestyles.).Wecanjudgethemonlythroughconsumersspending[,but](.But)itmaybebetterif[we](they)spendmoremoneyoneducationandleisure.   注:中括号里的内容是觉得有问题的部分,之后括号内的内容是给出的替换.时间关系只能说这么多了,希望能帮到你.
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