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谁能帮我看一看我自己写的这篇文章语法和单词等对不对?MynameisZhihaocheng,z-h-ih-a-oc-h-e-n-g,andmyEnglishnameisHarry--Harry·Poter.BecausewhenIwasten,everybodysaidthatIwaslikeHarry·Poter.Sincethen,Ihada
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问题描述:

谁能帮我看一看我自己写的这篇文章语法和单词等对不对?

MynameisZhihaocheng,z-h-ih-a-oc-h-e-n-g,andmyEnglishnameisHarry--Harry·Poter.

BecausewhenIwasten,everybodysaidthatIwaslikeHarry·Poter.Sincethen,Ihadaenglishnameforme,thatiswhymyEnglishnameiscallHarry·Poter.Ithinkthatmustveryinteresting,doyouthinkso?NowIwasthirteenyear'sold.Myhobbyisplaycomputer,readbook,sport,anddrivehelicopter,Sure,thatiscomputergame.Iusuallyplaypianoeighthoursaday.Iamaveryuncloudedandextroversion'sperson.Ialwaysliketohelpmyfriendwhenhehadtrouble.MymothernowisintheBeijingtotakecareofme,andmyfatherisalawyer.Hewasbusyeveryday.Ihadatimetable.Itcanawokemetodosomething.Ihavetwoclassaweek,onMondayafternoon,andonWednesdayafternoon.Ilikepiano,IcanrememberwhenIwasthreewhathadhappen.Athatmomenr,Ialwayswenttoapianostoretoplay,thatwasmyuncle'sstore.WhenIwentintothestoreatfirst,Iheardaverywonderfulanddaintly'svoice,somepeoplewastouchingtheblackandwhitekeyveryexcited.Then,Iaskmyunclewhatitwasandhetoldmethatit'spiano,aexpensiveinstrument,anditcanmakeverywonderfulanddaintly'svociewhichcontaineighty-eightkeyinside,itwasaverysupernatural'sinstrument.Ifyouwanttolearnit,IcanteachYou.Sincethen,Ibegantolearnthepiano.ThoughsometimesIfeelverybaldness,butIcanbearit.Untilnow,Iwasstilllikepiano.WhyIwaslikepiano?BecauseIlikemusic,itismysoul,evenifismylife.Everywhereneedmusicintheworld.Iwanttobringthemusictopeple,atthatmoment,theymustbeveryloveme,Ithinkthatfeelingwillmustbeverywonderful!

贺鑫元回答:
  english大写E   第三行mustbe   第四行最好用don'tyouthinkso?   hobby后用are   playthepiano   时间有限,先纠到这儿
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