在现代社会中,有很多关于竞争的说法。有些把竞争评价得很高,认为这是社会进步和繁荣必需的。也有人说,竞争不好,它设置是一人对另一个;这导致人与人之间的恶意关系。
我教过很多孩子,他们将自我价值的信念依讬在网球和其他技能的表现。对于他们来说,打得很好和赢得比赛往往是生死存亡的大事。他们一门心思追求成功,许多人的素质的发展黯然被遗忘。
然而,尽管有些人似乎失去了成功的意欲,有些人则态度相反。面对一个将成败得失看得重的文化,他们会强烈指责竞争。反对竞争的,是那些惨受父母和社会竞争压力影响的年轻人。教导这些年轻人,我经常观察他们想失败的意愿。他们似乎是不想赢或取得成功,以寻求失败。不去尝试,他们总有借口:「我是输了,但并不重要,因为我真的没努力尝试。」他们通常都不会承认,即使他们真的尽力亦会失败,这信念意味着很多。
这样的失败将是他们自我价值的衡量。显然,这信念与真正的竞争者试图证明自己是一样的。两者都基于一个错误的观念,将人的自尊依赖于与他人比较时的自我表现;两者都害怕不被重视。只当这根本及经常困扰人的恐惧开始消溶,我们才能察觉包含在竞争中新意义。
~~~~~~~~~纯人手翻译,欢迎采纳~~~~~~~~~
原文如下:
Inmodernsocietythereisagreatdealofargumentaboutcompetition.Somevalueithighly,believingthatitisresponsibleforsocialprogressandprosperity.Otherssaythatcompetitionisbad;thatitsetsonepersonagainstanother;thatitleadstounfriendlyrelationshipbetweenpeople.
Ihavetaughtmanychildrenwhoheldthebeliefthattheirself-worthreliedonhowwelltheyperformedattennisandotherskills.Forthem,playingwellandwinningareoftenlife-and-deathaffairs.Intheirsingle-mindedpursuitofsuccess,thedevelopmentofmanyotherhumanqualitiesissadlyforgotten.
However,whilesomeseemtobelostinthedesiretosucceed,otherstakeanoppositeattitude.Inaculturewhichvaluesonlythewinnerandpaysnoattentiontotheordinaryplayers,theystronglyblamecompetition.Amongthosewhoareagainstcompetitionareyoungpeoplewhohavesufferedundercompetitivepressurefromtheirparentsorsociety.Teachingtheseyoungpeople,Ioftenobserveinthemadesiretofail.Theyseemtoseekfailurebynottryingtowinorachievesuccess.Bynottrying,theyalwayshaveanexcuse:“Imayhavelost,butitdoesn’tmatterbecauseIreallydidn’ttry.”Whatisnotusuallyadmittedbythemisthebeliefthatiftheyhadreallytriedandlost,thatwouldmeanalot.
Suchalosswouldbeameasureoftheirworth.Clearly,thisbeliefisthesameasthatofthetruecompetitorswhotrytoprovethemselves.Botharebasedonthemistakenbeliefthatone’sself-respectreliesonhowwelloneperformsincomparisonwithothers.Bothareafraidofnotbeingvalued.Onlyasthisbasicandoftentroublesomefearbeginstodissolvecanwediscoveranewmeaningincompetition.