托福作文求批改菜鸟~高中英语90分几乎无语法根底
Thecity,Shenzhen,whereI’mlivinghere,bynodoubtisbothinternationalandvividineconomy,policy,andeducation.Acomparativefeaturewhenyouputothercitiesinchinaintoaccount.Ilovemyhometownofcourse.However,andnotsurprisingly,youcanfindoutvariousproblemsthatneededtobeamelioratedundertheglitteringfacadesofShenzhen.Ifyouaskmetomakeachoicetochangemycityonmerelyonething,itwouldbenotthornytopickuptheanswer---democracy.
Itallalittlebitprovocativetopreachtheideaofdemocracyhereinchina.Shenzhen,however,asacitywhereenjoy,toagreatextent,arelativefreedominchina,shouldalwaysserveasaprecursortotheothers.Andthebenefitofhavingdemocracyinanareaisbeyondillustrating.Icanadduceseveraladvantageshere.
Firstly,itwouldhelpthedevelopmentofacity.Athresholdnotionmightspontaneouslyoccurtoyouandme,isthatdemocracyanddevelopmentareinevitablyinterconnectedineverysubtlecorners.Democracyisdefinitelyafundamentalelementofprosperity,inthatitprovidesabuildingblockfromwhichbrillianteducation,prosperouseconomy,andotherrudimentalfactorsofasocietyareproduced.Tocrystallizingthispointclearly,wecouldtakeclosescrutinyonthesituationofHongKongwhereenjoyahighlevelofdemocracy.TherethreeuniversitiesinHongkongarerankintotop50allovertheglobe,whilewedon’tevenhaveasingleuniversitytomatchtheminmainland.Foreconomy,HongkongalsoplayanextremelysignificantroleofcentraleconomyofAsiasince20century.Theevidencecanneverbedifficulttofind,evenwhenwetoldaboutthehealthcaresystem,Hongkongisatleast20yearsaheadofushereinShenzhen.
Secondly,itisachangethatiswaitingtohappen.Theprimaryassuranceofprosperityisbaseondemocracy.Itwouldbeeasilyoverstatetheprospectofanareaunderauthoritarianism.Althoughchinaisnotlongeratthatdisappointedstate,ahardeffortmustbetakeninthecomingseveralyears.Thehistoryhasdemonstratedinnumeroustimesthatacountrymustbechangedamidstofgatheringcloudsragingstorms,Forchina,itwouldbeetherbecomeaNorthKoreaincholesterol,andthangoonthewoefulpathofdeclination,orbecomearisingsuperpo