求高手帮忙批改我的雅思大作文↓目标是6.0,6.5,虽然貌似还差很远.在语法和中国式英语上帮忙指导一下

Topic：

Itisgenerallybelievedthatsomepeoplearebornwithcertaintalents,forinstanceforsportorusic,andothersarenot.Howere,itissometimesclaimedthatanychildcanbetaughttobecomeaggodsportspersonormusicaian.

下个月7号考试,第一次考.

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Peoplehavebeenconstantlytalkingaboutwhethersomeonewhoisbornwithnaturetalentsinspecialaresiseasytogetgreatachievementsmorethanthecommonindividuals.

Inmyopinion,naturetalentsarecrutialintheaccesstobeaspecialist.Genesofwell-talentdparentsgiveamainfactorfortheirchildren.He/Shewhocouldbefoundisgoodatsomeareainhis/hierearlytimecomparedwithothers.Someofthemlearningthingsquicklyandsomeofthecandowellevenwithouttraining.Tosomeextend,naturetalentedchildrenoftenconsideredoneasyunderstandingthingswithoutorwithlessselfeffort.Foristant,whenMozartwasalittlechild,henevertouchedpianobeforeheheardasongonlyonceandthenplayeditalmostthesameasthesongitis.Hedidnotgiveupmusicandwasabletoplaypianoandmakemusicevenafterhegotblind.Aswecanseethatwithoutnaturetalentslkethisisalmostimpossibletorenderhisawell-knownmusician.

Ontheotherhand,peoplewithnaturetalentsareminorityafterall.Therearesomecommonpeoplewhodogreatachivementsbycontinuingtrainingandexcising,madetheirnamesbecurvedonstones.Butmajorityofthemcannotreachtheiraimsonstrengthentheirphysicalpowerlikesomeathelets,orsomecannotmakethemmorecreativejustbytraining.

However,talentpeoplewithself-effortarethoseonewhocanbecomespecialistthemosteasyway.Bornwithtalentisthebestgiftgivenbyparents,thereforbeinguseofitwellisimportant.

Inspiteofthis,forordinarypeople,trainingmaybeharderthantalentlessones.Also,theymayexperiencemorestress.Continuouseffortsareabletoleadtogreatprogressorapproachtotheirdreamaswell.

字数好像有点少.