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【请问这样的作文,在雅思学术类考试中可以得几分呢?请用力拍砖,给我建议吧.问题应该是有些人认为工业是否应该投资教育.Alongwiththedevelopmentofindustrializationandglobalization,aneverincreasingpeop】
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请问这样的作文,在雅思学术类考试中可以得几分呢?请用力拍砖,给我建议吧.

问题应该是有些人认为工业是否应该投资教育.

Alongwiththedevelopmentofindustrializationandglobalization,aneverincreasingpeopleholdtheviewthatindustryshouldtakemoreresponsibilityforeducation.Inmyopinion,Ifoundmyselfinagreementofit.Thereasonforthinkingthiswillbegiveninthisessay.

Educationplaysamoresignificantroleinindustry.Thereasonforwhyitisvitalisthatwecanneveremphasizetheimportanceoftechnologicalinnovationtoomuch.Onlywithhigherandbettermachine,canweproductbettergoodsandcreateabetterlife.Infact,itistheindustrythatisthemostessentialpartofacountry.Forexample,ifsomeso-calledby-productscanberecycledbyanewmachine,wecanstopwastinganymoreandimprovethevalueoftherawmaterialinthesametime.However,anewmachineneedstobeinventedbyprofessorwhohasacceptedahighereducation.

Moreover,educationisnecessarytohelpindustrytodecreasetheircostonnewmachineimportedoverseasoremployingaprofessorfromothercompaniesorcountries.Nevertheless,somepeoplemaybefirmlyconvincedthatitwillcostmoretoinvesteducationthantoemployexpertsorbuyinganewmachine.Infact,theyarejustoversimplifyingthesituation.Althoughintheshorttermtheyaremayberight,theyarewrongifitisinthelongterm.Investingineducationwillbethebestchoiceandspendlessmoneythanotherways.What’smore,companiesalsocultivatetheirownprofessorsandexperts,aswellasnewmachine,whichcanbeexportedoremployedbyothercompaniesandcountriesformakingmoney.

Allinall,industryshoulddomoredutiesineducationintermsofinvesting.Notonlymakingmoreandmoremoneyinalongtermbutalsodecliningthedependenceofexporting.

刘华咏回答:
  6-6.5,理论值.基本没有语法错误,结构清楚.
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