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跪求雅思a类大作文修改及评分!somepeoplethinkthat,inordertoimprovethequalityofeducation,studentsshouldbeencouragedtoevaluateandcriticizetheirteachers.othersfeelthatthiswillresultinalossofrespectanddiscipline
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跪求雅思a类大作文修改及评分!

somepeoplethinkthat,inordertoimprovethequalityofeducation,studentsshouldbeencouragedtoevaluateandcriticizetheirteachers.othersfeelthatthiswillresultinalossofrespectanddisciplineintheclassroom.dicussbothsidesandgiveyouropinion.

Thesedays,publicdebatehasbeengoingoninmycountryoverwhetherstudentsshouldbeinspiredtoevaluateandpointoutthemistakesthattheythinktheirteachersmayhavemade.Iintendtopresentmyideasabouttheprosandconsofit.

Asforthestudentsstudyinginruralareasinmycountry,theirteachersarenotwell-experienced,andwell-bred.Therefore,inevitably,theymayimposecorporalpunishmenttotheirstudentswhentheyaremoderatelyoffendedorwhentheirstudentsdonotobeyschoolrules.Iftheywereinformedthatitisappropriatetonotifytheirteacherstheinvalidityofcarryingoutphysicalabusetoyoungsters,thenthiskindofsituationwouldnotoccur.

Incomparisonwiththosewhostudiesinpoorareas,studentsincities,undoubtedly,aregivenmuchmoredecentschooling.However,thereisstillneedtoencouragethemtoevaluatetheirteachers.Forinstance,itcanpromotethecommunicationbetweenstudentsandteachers.AsfarasIamconcerned,teachingreferstotheexchangeofagreatamountofknowledgeanddifferentpersonalopinions.Ifthisprocessonlyinvolvedteachers’output,butnofeedbackfromstudents,thenitcouldnotbedescribedaseffective‘work’.Furthermore,onceteachersreceivethecommentsfromstudents,theyaremorelikelytoacceptthebeneficialonesratherthanjustcompletelyneglectingthem.Thiswillexertapositiveimpactontheimprovementofteachingmethodsandmoreimportantly,theestablishmentoffriendshipbetweenthem.

Ontheotherhand,thispracticecouldpossiblygiverisetopoordisciplineintheclassroom,assomenaughtboysmightputforwardunjustifiedsuggestionsinordertoaccomplishthepurposeofcreatingtension.Notonlywouldthishaveadverseeffectsonteaching,butitwouldalsopartlydestroythefaiththatteachershaveintheirstudents.

Overall,myviewisthatweshouldsupportthissuggestiononthegroundsthatitenablesteacherstohavegoodawarenessofstudents’maininteres

苏梅珍回答:
  雅思7分路过   第一段:   建议把proandcon改成meritanddemerit,不算是错误,只是改写的更高级点   第二段:   第五排的then去掉,多余了   studies改成study,因为前面主语是复数   倒数第五排的then也去掉.不需要这么多连词   总的来说写的还挺好,给人改了这么多雅思作文了你这篇算是写的错误最少的了.你这题目在《十天突破雅思写作》里有范文的,估计你也看了吧.如果确实是在40分钟之类完成字写的也不错的话得个6分没问题.不过还是有几点得注意一下:   1.这种评价两方观点并且给出你自己的看法的题目,最好两方观点各写一段然后自己的观点单独写一段,而不是像你这篇这样在前面就出现了诸如AsfarasIamconcerned这种表示自己的观点的词汇.不是说不可以这么写,只是考官在改的时候按我说的那种写法思路更清晰.   2.最后一段一定不能再出现新的观点了,只能对前面进行总结.你这篇文章最后一段貌似是写自己的观点吧,最好别这样.   写的不错,努努力就能稳6分了.
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