populareventslikehefootbalworldcupandotherinternationalsportingoccasionsareessentialineasinginternationaltensionsandreleasingpatrioticemotionsinasafeway.towhatextentdoyouagreeordisagree. 　　thereisanuniversalarguementwhetherpopulareventssuchasfootballworldcupandcertaininternationalsportingoccasionswillbebeneficialtoeliminatetensionmadebydifferentcountries.overall,iagreetheopinionexpressed.（同学,你的whether和will一起的用法是不对的,用are就好；eliminate嘛,是消除的意思,这样讲太绝对了,外国人不喜欢绝对的,应该说reduce；overal是在文章末尾的,应该用inmyopinion,后面可以用fllowingpointofview,避免重复） 　　onone（中间少个the）hand,popularevents(can)promotetheprogress(去掉）ofpeace.bythis（.没见过这样的用法）imeanthat（不要动不动用imean,那是口语）itremovesthebarrierofinterpretationbetweenindividualswhodonotspeaksamelanguage（这句话是翻译器翻来的吧.）.forexample,theolympicgame,provide（三单加S）aplatformfornotonlyalthelesbut（.ALSO!）audiencesaroundtheworldtointeractwitheachother（interact就行）.besides,thereisnodenyingthefact（thereisnodoubt比较好,雅思喜欢）thatinternationalsport（加S）meetingraised（为什么要用过去时?canraise）moneyforcharities.tobemoreprecise,povertyplay（三单）adominantroleinreligionclashesespeciallyamong（especially后面应该加名词,和前面的名次平行）undevelopmentcountries（没有这个说法,是developingcountries).inaddition,itopensagapformutualunderstanding,whichboardenpeople'shorizonstowardsculturaldiversity.lastbutnotleast,government（should）alsoallocatemoneytoenhancepublicfacilitiesasthegallaryheld. 　　ontheotherhand,despiteits（没有主语,什么的importance?)importance,internationoccasionsmaysufferthepotentialrisksaswell,iamrefering(不要用I!不能主观!）tothefactthatcriminalbehaviorwhichoccursfrequentlyonthegymasindividualsarenotsatisfiedwiththecompetition'sresult,(加itmay)causebloodeventsthatisaganistwiththeoriginalintentiontoholdthemeeting. 　　also,itisprimarytargetthatislocatedbyterroriststoplacebombsasmillionsofaudienceswatchthecompetition. 　　inconclusion,althoughcriminalbehaviorandterriosmwillthreatenthesafe（safe是名词）ofpopularevents,itisalsoaneffectivewaytoremoveinternationtension