D
ForseveraldaysIsawlittleofMr.Rochester.Inthemorningheseemedverybusywithbusiness,andintheafternoongentlemenfromtheneighborhoodcalledandsometimesstayedtodinewithhim.Whenhisfootwaswellenough,herodeoutagreatdeal.
Duringthistime,allmyknowledgeofhimwaslimitedtooccasionalmeetingsaboutthehouse,whenhewouldsometimespassmecoldly,andsometimesbowandsmile.HischangesofmannerdidnotoffendmebecauseIsawthatIhadnothingtodowiththecauseofthem.
Oneevening,severaldayslater,IwasinvitedtotalktoMr.Rochesterafterdinner.Hewassittinginhisarmchair,andlookednotquitesosevere,andmuchlessgloomy.Therewasasmileonhislipsandhiseyeswerebright,probablywithwine.AsIwaslookingathim,hesuddenlyturnedandaskedme,“DoyouthinkIamhandsome,MissEyre?”
TheanswersomehowslippedfrommytonguebeforeIrealizedit:“No,sir.”“Ah,youreallyareunusual!Youareaquiet,seriouslittleperson,butyoucanbealmostrude.”“Sir,I'msorry.Ishouldhavesaidthatbeautydoesn'tmatter,orsomethinglikethat”“No,youshouldn't!Isee,youcriticizemyappearance,andthenyoustab(刺)meintheback!Youhavehonestyandfeeling.Therearenotmanygirlslikeyou.ButperhapsIgotoofast.Perhapsyouhaveawfulfaultstocounterbalance(抵消)yourfewgoodpoints.”
Ithoughttomyselfthathemighthavetoo.Heseemedtoreadmymind,andsaidquickly,“Yes,you'reright.Ihaveplentyoffaults.IwentthewrongwaywhenIwastwenty-one,andhaveneverfoundtherightpathagain.Imighthavebeenverydifferent.Imighthavebeenasgoodasyouandperhapswiser.Iamnotabadman,takemywordforit,butIhavedonewrong.Itwasn'tmycharacter,butcircumstanceswhichweretoblame.WhydoItellyouallthis?Becauseyou'rethesortofpersonpeopletelltheirproblemsandsecretstobecauseyou'resympatheticandgivethemhope.”
Itseemedhehadquitealottotalktome.Hedidn'tseemtoliketofinishthetalkquickly,aswasthecaseforthefirsttime.
“Don'tbeafraidofme,Miss.Eyre,”hecontinued.“Youdon'trelaxorlaughverymuch,perhapsbecauseoftheeffectLowoodschoolhashadonyou.Butintimeyouwillbemorenaturalwithme,andlaugh,andspeakfreely.You'relikeabirdinacage.Whenyougeto