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请大家看看这个英语作文怎么样HereareTom’sactivities.Tomlikeswritingsongsverymuch.Sohealwayswriteslotsofsongsfortheinterestingthingsonhisfreetime.Helikesplayingbasketballtoo.Heoftenplaysbasketballwithhisc
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请大家看看这个英语作文怎么样

HereareTom’sactivities.Tomlikeswritingsongsverymuch.Sohealwayswriteslotsofsongsfortheinterestingthingsonhisfreetime.Helikesplayingbasketballtoo.Heoftenplaysbasketballwithhisclassmatesafterschool.Hisfavoritemusicalinstrumentisguitar.Hepracticestheguitareveryday,buthecan’tplaytheguitarverywell.Hegoestothemovieswithhisfriendsonceamonth.HisfavoritesubjectisEnglish,hestudyEnglishthreetimesaweek.Hedislikesdrawingpictures.Soheneverdrawspictures.

童年18:58:41

HereareTom’sactivities.Tomlikeswritingsongsverymuch.Sohealwayswriteslotsofsongsfortheinterestingthingsonhisfreetime.Helikesplayingbasketballtoo.Heoftenplaysbasketballwithhisclassmatesafterschool.Hisfavoritemusicalinstrumentisguitar.Hepracticestheguitareveryday,buthecan’tplaytheguitarverywell.Hegoestothemovieswithhisfriendsonceamonth.HisfavoritesubjectisEnglish,hestudyEnglishthreetimesaweek.Hedislikesdrawingpictures.Soheneverdrawspictures.

陈蔼祥回答:
  ①onhisfreetime宜改为inhisspare/freetime   ②fortheinterestingthings中的for宜改成about   ③Hepracticestheguitareveryday,buthecan’tplaytheguitarverywell.宜改为Althoughhepracticesplayingtheguitareveryday,heplaysitnotverywell.   ④hestudyEnglishthreetimesaweek中study的时态要用第三人称单数   如果这个是作文的话,问题比较多,简单句太多,句子与句子间的意思重复比较多,适宜添加部分从句,和灵活使用代词等等
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