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雅思+大作文(生活类)+要考试了求高手回答题目Somepeopleenjoychanges,andtheylookforwardtonewexperiences.Othersliketheirlivestostaythesame,andtheydonotchangetheirusualhabits.Whichapproachdoyouprefer?作
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问题描述:

雅思+大作文(生活类)+要考试了求高手回答

题目

Somepeopleenjoychanges,andtheylookforwardtonewexperiences.Othersliketheirlivestostaythesame,andtheydonotchangetheirusualhabits.

Whichapproachdoyouprefer?

作文

Hugechangesaretakingplaceinthisdayandage.Thoseguyswhoarelookingforwardtonewexperiencesenjoythechanges,while,otherswhodonotliketochangetheirusualhabitsprefertostaythesame.Asforme,Iprefertohavechangeswhichwouldbringusmarvelousandunforgettablefeelingsinourdailylife.

Stayingthesamemayposeathreattous.Ononehand,traditionalruleswouldalwayskeepthesame,whichisboringandnegativetous.Lifewithoutchangesjustlikesthebirdswithoutwings.Everythingkeepsthesametrack,andwecannotmakeanybreakthroughandevenmodifysomethingsthatareincorrect.Ontheotherhand,wecannotmakeanyprogressduringoureverydaylifewithoutchanging.Creativeideasandcriticalthinkingarefrequentlycomingoutfromthechangeswhichchallengetothetraditions.

Changescanbringusvastadvantagesandbenefitswhicharegivenasfollows.Firstly,ourlifewouldbecolorfulandenergeticwithsomechanges.Sincemostofusaretooordinarytohavesomeachievements,hardworkingwouldbefinallypaidbysomechangeswhichareequaltoprizesandsuccess.Secondly,changeswouldleadustoanewworld.Inthelonghistory,therearemainlytwodifferentstageswhichareshortforfinancialworldandharmoniousworld.Owingtothechanges,wecometothefinancialworldwhichgivesusgreatfortunesaswellastheenvironmentalproblems,andthematterswhichareconfrontedinthefirststagearesolvedintheharmoniousworld.

Inconclusion,changeswouldbringusgreatconvenienceandshowacompletenewworldtous.Withoutchanges,ourlifewouldbesimilartoapondofdeadwater.

谷雪莲回答:
  guy和asfor是比较口语化的,不要出现在雅思写作中   文章主题段主题句和论证有问题,你的第一句是Stayingthesamemayposeathreattous.你想想你的论证有没有证明这一点。主题段的句间衔接不明显,traditionalruleswouldalwayskeepthesame,whichisboringandnegativetous.Lifewithoutchangesjustlikesthebirdswithoutwings.Everythingkeepsthesametrack,andwecannotmakeanybreakthroughandevenmodifysomethingsthatareincorrect.这几句是怎么连接起来的呢?雅思写作很注重句间逻辑关系,和中文写作不一样。还有,你的最后一句apondofdeadwater你觉得老外能看懂吗
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