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【帮忙评定一下这篇托福作文可以拿多少分?Somepeoplearguethatoneshouldchoosemorepracticaldreamratherthanchallengingonebecauseitissafer.However,asfarasIamconcern,challengingdreamscanbringusmoreopportunitiesso】
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问题描述:

帮忙评定一下这篇托福作文可以拿多少分?

Somepeoplearguethatoneshouldchoosemorepracticaldreamratherthanchallengingonebecauseitissafer.However,asfarasIamconcern,challengingdreamscanbringusmoreopportunitiessotheycanhelpustoachievesuccess.

Tobeginwith,peoplecanbeinspiredbychallengingdream.Oncepeoplehavetheirchallegingdream,nothingwillbeimpossiblebecauseone’spotentialisendless.Forexample,BillGates,oneofthemostsuccessfulmanintheworld,quitfromhisuniversityandchoseachallengingdream,tostartacompany.Althoughmanypeopleregardedhimasacrazyman.Afterseveralyearseffort,GatescreatedhisMicrosoftEmpireandbecametherichestman.Ifhejuststudiedatschool,whichseemmorepractical,hewouldneverachievesuchsuccess.

Inaddition,whenfacingchallengingtasks,peoplealwaysworkharder.Ibelievepressureandchallengecanbringoutthebestresults.Forinstance,myuncle,wholivedinaremoteruralarea,determinedhimselftobecomeapeoplewholiveincitywhenhesawhowattractivecitywas.Heworkerveryhardandovercameeverydifficultieshefacedwithhischallengingdream,livingincity.Finally,hereachedhisgoalandlivedverywellincity.Ifheneverdreamedaboutsuchachallenginggoal,hewouldjustlivedinremoteareawithlimitedsight.

Lastbutnotleast.Practicalplanwillimpedeourabilitytocreatesomething.Whenpeopleliveacozylife,theymayfeelsatisfiedandstoptosearchnewthings.Aftermybrothergaveupstudyingabroadandstayedathomecountryinordertogetwhatseempractical.,theambitionheusedtohavewasgonesincehehasadaptedtohislife.

Inconclusion,Sincepracticalplanwillpreventpeoplefrommakingbreakthrough,challengingplansbecomedefinitelybeneficialtousbecausetheycaninspireourpotentialandstimulateustoworkharder.

汪小军回答:
  Dear,themostimportantthingofTOEFLisnative.Fromyours,Icannotfindanynativelanguage.Icanconsideritisbeentranslatedbysomekindofsoftware.
苏惠敏回答:
  啊。。那可以得多少分?我这个作文是用了一定模板,关键是我不还是表达了自己观点啊?
汪小军回答:
  其实现阶段,给多少分不重要。关键是你的作文里,找不到让老外感觉地道的地方。你的意思表达的太过中国话,你要多研习英语的思维方式。可以负责的说:除非你在某些方面有突出的表现,比方说在化学上能够写出某位教授觉得非常优秀的地方,否则这种不地道的英文,老外是不会有兴趣看到最后的。
苏惠敏回答:
  好吧,毕竟我准备托福的时间不是很长,看来你是在美国已经上了大学了?
汪小军回答:
  哦。我是给你一些直截了当的诚挚的意见。功夫在与平常的积累,不是一天两天就能水到渠成的。我是芝加哥大学MBA,IT管理专业
苏惠敏回答:
  佩服,我7月23的托福94分,想813冲100的,你以前的托福SAT多少分?膜拜一下
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